Welcome to December! Yesterday was the first of the month, time for your Word of the Month: merry.
That’s right. As a member of the Word of the Month Club, you’re entitled to use this month’s word on any and every occasion. Sprinkle it freely throughout your conversation, as in, “How merry are you, merry friend, on this merry day?”
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Welcome to December! Yesterday was the first of the month, time for your Word of the Month: merry.
That’s right. As a member of the Word of the Month Club, you’re entitled to use this month’s word on any and every occasion. Sprinkle it freely throughout your conversation, as in, “How merry are you, merry friend, on this merry day?”
Yes, there’s no limit on how often you can use it.
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But wait a minute. You’re not a member? Then excuse me, you don’t have exclusive rights to say merry whenever you want. For that, you have to belong to the Word of the Month Club. (Disclaimer: the Word of the Month Club is not a government agency, and has no affiliation with any WOTY [Word of the Year] event.)
For a mere $5 a month, or $60 a year, the Word of the Month Club is a perfect holiday gift for a loved one, or for yourself. Do you know anybody who always wants to own the conversation? That person will be thrilled to have ownership of a word every month, certified by a document suitable for framing. Every time someone says “merry” in your vicinity, you can ask for a usage fee.
Since the Word of the Month Club is not a government agency, unfortunately, there is no way of enforcing the fee. But the document announcing the award looks official, and it is accompanied by a card you can carry in your wallet. And when you join for the first time, you will be issued an official-looking badge in the shape of a five-pointed star, with Word Police prominently displayed.
Every month you’ll get a word like merry to carry around and police. In November, for example, the word was gather. Imagine how much you could have collected in a gathering of friends.
As owner, you can change its meaning too (if anyone will listen). Think of the fun you can have when you redefine merry as “stuck in the mire.”
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And there’s more! If you wish, you can substitute another word for the club’s main choice each month. This month instead of merry, for example, you could have slushy.
So send your payment now to …
[The preceding is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.]
WINNER ANNOUNCED:
My November 25 post offered a copy of my new book, From Skedaddle to Selfie: Words of the Generations to the coiner of the best word ending in giving. There were quite a few smart proposals, but Nancy Friedman’s invention seems most original and perhaps most likely to succeed. She wrote, “This year I was moved to coin ‘Tisgiving to describe the early arrival of ‘Tis the Season copy in advertisements.”
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So Nancy, please send me your snail-mail address, and the book will be yours.