• February 24, 2017
February 24, 2017, 6:33:38 am *
Welcome, Guest. Please Log In to participate in forums.
News: Talk about how to cope with chronic illness, disability, and other health issues in the academic workplace.
 
Pages: 1 ... 183 184 [185] 186 187 ... 210
  Print  
Author Topic: Posting Hall of Fame  (Read 691364 times)
ellaminnowphd
Curiously Strong
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 3,809


« Reply #2760 on: December 09, 2012, 12:40:10 pm »

"I am not a duck - I am a chicken", insisted the feathered biped.

The ducks all looked askance.

"You show up every day at the duck pond, you swim with us, you compete for the bread thrown by the humans, and you migrate with us when the winter comes", said the oldest duck. "How can you be a chicken?"

"In the Big River where I was hatched, everyone agrees that it is bad to be a duck," responded the "chicken". "Just because I live my life like a duck, I could not possibly be one. See, my footprints look just like chicken tracks".

The ducks all looked at the mud beside the river. They saw the prints of many flat feet, but no chicken tracks.

"Are you sure you aren't a duck?", ventured one of the ducklings.

"Oh no. Definitely not a duck. In fact, if you would all agree that you were chickens too, and that being a duck was misguided and wrong, the hunters would never come in the winter with their guns and shoot some of you", replied the "chicken". "That's why I am completely safe -- no-one could ever accuse me of being a duck".

Logged

cc_alan
is a wossname
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 10,421

Caution! Nekkid Zamboni driver ahead.


« Reply #2761 on: December 10, 2012, 10:24:41 pm »

In my first semester of teaching at CurrentJob (three years ago), I had a student who participated in class and seemed to get what we were doing. His/her homework grade was good, and I was told that s/he was doing his/her own homework. However, his/her test scores were abyssmal. After the third test, s/he came to my office looking for answers. I suggested that s/he drop the class and get tested for a learning disability. I told him/her that, in my experience, it sounded like a significant test anxiety that was surfacing. S/he did drop the class and I never heard from him/her again, including never seeing him/her on campus.

Fast forward to Saturday, the day of our fall graduation. After the ceremony, I'm talking to a couple of former students who have graduated, and this person was in the group. I was pretty sure that s/he had been in my class, but I couldn't be sure. S/he walks up to me as the others are starting to mill around as the conversation is dying and asks if I remember him/her. I say that I do, and s/he proceeds to tell me that s/he had been tested for the disability during that previous after-semester break. It turns out that s/he did have a learning disability, that s/he could and did receive accomodations for it, and that s/he never would have been tested if I hadn't given that little push of "drop now, get tested, and move ahead with whatever results come up."

S/he thanked me profusely for making the suggestion, and s/he teared up a little when telling me that there was no way s/he would have graduated without the suggestion to get tested. I smiled weakly (while tearing up, too) and replied that I was just doing my job. She insisted on getting a picture with me and the other two students.

I'm glad it worked out for him/her, and I'm tearing up a little writing this. In the end, it's these single individuals that mean the most to me in my career. I'm glad that this student got tested, and I'm proud to see him/her graduate, even though s/he never finished the only class s/he took with me.
Logged

Guess what? I got a fever and the only prescription is MORE COWBELL!
usukprof
Not sure he's been around long enough to really be a
Member-Moderator
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 11,616

.


« Reply #2762 on: December 12, 2012, 11:50:20 pm »

Under the subject line:  I REQUIRE YOUR FAILURE

 You probably don't remember me, but last spring semester I took contemporary comparative politics under you. Now I was the student that never attended a single class and never dropped or withdrew from the class. I'm now doing better at (SCHOOL ACROSS TOWN), but I have the hanging transcript over my head. All I need from you is to give me an F in the class because it is currently marked as incomplete on my transcript. I can't enroll for any more classes until I get this sorted out so you pretty much have me by the short hairs and the clock is ticking.
Logged

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.  --Dean Vernon Wormer

Administrators leverage their synergies to deliver customer-driven educational product to their students while achieving competencies to attain excellence in performance-driven deliverables to their stakeholders
kiana
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 2,801


« Reply #2763 on: December 17, 2012, 4:07:08 pm »

I simply cannot even read another what-do-I-wear-to-my-interview thread.

Oh, sure, it's easy for you yellow_tractors.

Even the combine harvesters have to make choices -- so much more goes with green than with yellow.
Logged

If robbers ever broke into my house to search for money, I'd just laugh and search with them.
tinyzombie
She of the Badass Abs, and a
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 16,749

elevate from this point on - chuck d


« Reply #2764 on: December 17, 2012, 9:39:23 pm »

Here's how I explain it to my students: if you dress in sweats every day, but suddenly you show up to class in a ball gown, I'm going to notice. Generally speaking, it's the same with writing.

Love that analogy, Dr_A.  May I steal it from you in a non-plagiarising sort of way?

Of course. I prefer to be cited in MLA format, which means you must gently cup your hands to form parentheses as you say my name aloud to your students. I am not paginated.

Just as well you don't prefer footnotes, or poor Llanfair would have to leap in the air after presenting your analogy, and only reveal your identity once she reached the bottom of the page several paragraphs later.

And I have two left feet, so that leap would be ungainly and possibly result in personal injury.  Not to mention that my students would flee the room in terror of this weird woman at the front of their classroom.
Logged

Quote from: usukprof
I think we have three of them, but the smallest one seems to be the leader.
Quote from: dolljepopp
Who needs real life when Sandra Bullock is around?
Quote from: systeme_d_
You are all my people, and I love you.
melba_frilkins
Doing laundry.
Member-Moderator
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 18,875


« Reply #2765 on: December 18, 2012, 6:25:04 pm »

We're here! We're dear! Get used to it!
Logged

Light up the corners of your neighborhood with disco balls matched with dancing green and violet beams.
voxprincipalis
Foxaliciously Cinnamon-Scented (and Most Poetic)
Member-Moderator
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 24,924

Has potentially infinite removable wallets


WWW
« Reply #2766 on: December 19, 2012, 8:11:09 pm »

Sometimes when I read my own posts, it seems that I am overreacting. 
Logged

"If you find yourself speaking with a person who does not make sense, in all likelihood that person is not real."

-- The Stanley Parable
copper
Ice Road Truckin'
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 2,752

Suckin' it up like Buttercup.


« Reply #2767 on: December 20, 2012, 2:25:32 am »

... this thread is the Bob Ross of running.  Maybe sped up a little.  Or a lot.
Logged

"The most exciting things in life require more courage than we currently have." -- Jack McPhee, or whoever wrote the 4th season of Dawson's.
usukprof
Not sure he's been around long enough to really be a
Member-Moderator
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 11,616

.


« Reply #2768 on: December 20, 2012, 11:30:11 am »

The age of the earth is a fascinating and not particularly important issue.  If a history or classics teacher does not like the fact that some of his students may believe in young-earth creationism, that still does not give said teacher license to treat the kid or his religion as inferior to his own beliefs, nor are these sorts of classes (unlike science class, for instance) the proper venue for a teacher trying to reeducate the kid.

Do you really believe that knowledge and reasoning should be compartmentalized and that "teachers" should only teach their subjects while students should only think about those subjects during the fifty minutes of class? I suppose that you also believe that students should give correct answers in other classes when those answers contradict their religious worldview just because "that's what poor going-to-Hell teacher wants" and as a hoop to jump through in order to get a grade.

This sort of anti-learning doublethink makes me embarrassed to say that I'm a Christian, though I do suppose that trying to be religious and thoughtful and truthful in all domains of knowledge is its own type of witness and one that I certainly fail at most of the time.

As someone who teaches both the theory of abiogenesis and the theory of evolution (notice that they aren't the same), I teach a few young earthers and creationist "scientists" every year. Some of them do write on their exam "This is what you want me to know, but it is really God that did it". Of course they inevitably didn't get "what I wanted them to know" correct because these students typically shut down early on. On the other extreme, I've had a few students melt down in my class, tears streaming down their faces with a full-on crisis of faith. Most put the science into a little hermetically sealed box that doesn't touch their religion lest it contaminate it.

We lead students to the buffet of ideas and tell them to try a little of everything except the egg salad under the heat lamp. Most broaden their diet. Some get food poisoning and have to be rushed to the ER while others refuse to eat any of it and starve to death. Still others keep going to different buffets but don't really eat any of it. Luckily they kill their own food and then become Governor of Alaska. Now, where was a going with this metaphor?
Logged

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.  --Dean Vernon Wormer

Administrators leverage their synergies to deliver customer-driven educational product to their students while achieving competencies to attain excellence in performance-driven deliverables to their stakeholders
marigolds
looks far too young to be a
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 11,582

i had fun once and it was awful


« Reply #2769 on: December 20, 2012, 3:14:56 pm »

I want to be called "dear apostate" now.

What is in this drink?

No doubt it tastes of sin and regret.
Logged

They are our servants.  They are like dogs.  Sometimes, they think they remember being wolves, but they are only dreaming.
polly_mer
practice makes perfect
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 27,626

Have you worked on that project today?


« Reply #2770 on: December 21, 2012, 10:04:54 am »

This is the risk of academic blogging and tweeting. You start posting smart stuff, become popular, and pretty soon you start thinking you're a public intellectual. Your ideas matter! You're the next Cornel West! You're fighting the man! You are shaping public discourse!

And soon, as the likes and accolades roll in, you begin to lose perspective and ratchet up your rhetoric. You lose sight of the distinction between Things You Should Say Publicly When You Are Untenured at a Public University (e.g., STFU) and Rants You Would Share With Your Friends.

And then one day, you get yourself canned.
Logged

I've joined a bizarre cult called JordanCanonicalForm's Witnesses.  I have to go from door to door asking people things like, "Good evening, sir!  Do you have a moment to chat about Linear Transformations?"
prytania3
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 44,524

Prytania, the Foracle


« Reply #2771 on: December 21, 2012, 1:21:04 pm »

Igor. Sob.

Igor still love you, Small Zombie Person! Igor is sending you big Christmas present of goodies! Jellied Eyeballs, Cartilage Canes, Mystery Fudge (guess! you must guess!), and, since Igor saw it on the forums, Turkish Delight, made with real Turks! If Small Zombie Person listen close, she can still hear happy Turkish screaming! Careful chewing -- Igor is not sure he got out all pointy scimitar bits.

Igor also still love Yellow Tractor! Igor will paint Merry Christmas message on Yellow Tractor's windshield next time he goes by. Igor has been saving very special ... paint for this. It is red! Also gloppy.

Merry Christmas to all forum peoples! If you see Santa, please tell him Igor has been very good and really wants new snowflake pointy tools in stocking! (Oh, this reminds Igor -- must take leg out of stocking first.)
Logged

I'm not a narcissist. I'm just angry and violent.
marigolds
looks far too young to be a
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 11,582

i had fun once and it was awful


« Reply #2772 on: December 21, 2012, 2:27:31 pm »

They weren't bad, but they weren't great either.  They were decidedly mediocre.  I'm disappointed because I thought the class had gone really well.

Look, no student will ever care about the course as much as you do or evaluate the course in the same way you do. They will not notice your innovative pedagogy, your careful scaffolding of assignments, how you stayed up at night thinking of exactly the right way to teach this or that. They won't. It's like asking a dog to appreciate your Prada or Armani outfit. The most you can hope for is that they will decide they like chewing on the shoes.

VP
Logged

They are our servants.  They are like dogs.  Sometimes, they think they remember being wolves, but they are only dreaming.
usukprof
Not sure he's been around long enough to really be a
Member-Moderator
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 11,616

.


« Reply #2773 on: December 24, 2012, 9:56:25 pm »


Quote
yellowtractor
Vice-Provost of the University of the South-East Corner of Donkeyshire (formerly Donkeyshire Polytechnic) (a Post-1992 University) and also a
Distinguished Senior Member
Logged

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.  --Dean Vernon Wormer

Administrators leverage their synergies to deliver customer-driven educational product to their students while achieving competencies to attain excellence in performance-driven deliverables to their stakeholders
octoprof
Member-Moderator
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 49,943

Love your loved ones while you can.


WWW
« Reply #2774 on: December 25, 2012, 7:44:42 pm »

making a 30 points off reduction Charging penalties and interest on one's tax returns for failing to use format x may make an educationist think 'education' is a rigorous academic discipline requiring rigorous academic standards, the IRS think taxes are an important process that should be done according to financial standards, but, ahem, well...

It really is not that hard for a professor the IRS to check out a kid's 200 million tax payer's references, financial records, even if the style the taxpayer is using is different from said academic's preference the instruction manual, really, it ain't..

making a 30 points off reduction Rejecting a mortgage application for failing to use format x may make an educationist think 'education' is a rigorous academic discipline requiring rigorous academic standards, the bank think home loans and home ownership are an important process that should be done according to standards, but, ahem, well...

it really is not that hard for a professor all banks everywhere to check out a kid's tens of thousands of applicants references, tax returns, which may or not have been done correctly, even if the style the applicant is using is different from said academic's preference the bank's detailed instructions, really, it ain't..

making a 30 points off reduction Suing a doctor for malpractice and failing to use treatment x required by a patient's rare condition may make an educationist think 'education' is a rigorous academic discipline requiring rigorous academic standards, a patient think they are an important person who should be treated according to the highest medical and professional standards, but, ahem, well...

It really is not that hard for a professor a doctor to check out a kid's 100s of patientsreferences, self-reported medical histories, even if the style the patient is using is different from said academic's preference the hospital's self-reporting information form, really, it ain't..

making a 30 points off reduction Watching a serial killer go free because the prosecutor failed to use format x when handling the evidence may make an educationist think 'education' is a rigorous academic discipline requiring rigorous academic standards, judges think that "the law" and "innocent until proven guilty" is an important concept subject to rigorous standards of ethics and professionalism, but, ahem, well...

It really is not that hard for a professor judges to check out a kid's millions of defendants references, documents, even if the style the defendant and his lawyer are using is different from said academic's preference the what is specified by the law, really, it ain't..


For those who lost site of the forest..
Following instructions and attention to details are useful and quite transferable skills
Logged

Love your neighbor.

Your new cephaloverlord.
ALL HAIL TO THE OCTO!!!

When you are accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.
Pages: 1 ... 183 184 [185] 186 187 ... 210
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.9 | SMF © 2006-2008, Simple Machines LLC Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
  • 1255 Twenty-Third St., N.W.
  • Washington, D.C. 20037
subscribe today

Get the insight you need for success in academe.