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Author Topic: Didn't work out  (Read 20570 times)
sikora
Gainfully employed
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Posts: 4,994

And so it goes, onward and upward


« on: July 31, 2007, 11:25:59 am »

I didn't get the job.  I cried so much last night that my eyes are still swollen.  I have no other prospects.  I went to the state employment agency yesterday, and the guy there directed me to a couple of $8/hour jobs, including one I applied for a few weeks back and failed the strength test.  Here's the sad part of this depressed region.  The state is closing the work force office:

http://www.atchisonglobeonline.com/main.asp?Search=1&ArticleID=7564&SectionID=16&SubSectionID=&S=1

Found out today that Prof. Meany has been acting as chair while the real chair is on vacation.  It's just paranoia, but I can't help but wonder if he has been taking chair's calls, too.  No, I can't blame him.  It's me.  There has to be something really, really wrong about me, felicide that I am.

I'm going to take a few days and just sleep, play banjo, and drink beer.  Then, I think, I will try again, but I don't know.  I'm very sad, and kinda wish I could simply disappear. At least I have health insurance until August 31.  I do have to decide how to live.  I may just stop paying my mortgage until the bank kicks me out. I wish I had someone around here I could turn to (not my mother!  fortunately, she's 1200 miles away).

After today, I am going to quit these fora.  I have my final exit talk today, will hand in my keys, and will no longer have an affiliation with this slac.  Therefore, no internet access.

occ
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If you're not doing clinical trials or trying to keep people in outer space, it's not worth getting all anxious about.
matand
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Posts: 340


« Reply #1 on: July 31, 2007, 11:37:59 am »

Have you ever thought that someone/thing is pulling you in a completely different direction? 

I think it might be time for you to throw caution to the wind, and get a little crazy.

You'll survive.  Even if the bank comes after you, you have no phone or internet access, and you have to eat beans, you'll survive.  Talk yourself into that NOW!

Go join a group.  Join a gym.  Join a class.  Anything to expose yourself to other people.
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prytania3
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Prytania, the Foracle


« Reply #2 on: July 31, 2007, 11:42:44 am »

Obscure, I'm sorry you didn't get the job, but I'm more worried about your frame of mind right now. You sound like you are in a very dangerous place.

First, I think you need to check in with your psychiatrist and tell him or her how you are feeling.

Second, I think it's a really bad idea for you to leave the fora. Can't you get internet dial-up connection? That's very cheap.
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I'm not a narcissist. I'm just angry and violent.
helpful
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Posts: 11,670


« Reply #3 on: July 31, 2007, 11:44:48 am »

You can also find internet cafes and free wireless access in many places.

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obprof
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Posts: 1,612


« Reply #4 on: July 31, 2007, 11:49:32 am »

You can access the web at your local library. I hope you don't quit the forums... I like hearing about what is going on in your life.

I think a lot of the forumites can relate to your experiences (even if we are not brave enough to share them).

You can also find internet cafes and free wireless access in many places.


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husqvarna
I am the chainsaw.
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Posts: 3,276


« Reply #5 on: July 31, 2007, 11:50:07 am »

Obscure,

So sorry to hear all of this news.  I agree with Prytania3 as well- while we all want you to do well with a job, I think it's safe to say that our main concern is you right now.  Please treat yourself well, and remember how well we all think of you!  And please find a way back here!  There must be some sort of library access you can get to, or internet cafes, as helpful mentioned.
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I am not surprised that you are confused ... [t]hat confusion may well be chronic if not congenital.
appleaddict
Senior member
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Posts: 506


« Reply #6 on: July 31, 2007, 12:08:48 pm »

I'm so sorry to read this, Obscure. Please take care of yourself. I don't often post, but I, too, am convinced that it would be a bad idea to leave your support structure at the fora. Please reconsider.
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gayle
Boring
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Posts: 579


« Reply #7 on: July 31, 2007, 12:09:13 pm »

That sucks.

You are stronger than you think you are and you can get through this.  Just take it one thing at a time.  For the moment you have shelter.  So next you need to find a job adequate to provide you and Laika with food.  Join K16 at Wal-Mart if you have to, anything to have a little cash flow and get yourself out of the house regularly.  Once you've done that, you can worry about preserving your shelter.  Then what career you might want.  One step at a time.

I do hope you can find some free internet time at a library or something, at least to give us an occasional update on how you're doing.  And remember to take care of yourself.
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slac_vap
Aliases include: slap_vac, shop_vac, slap_vap, slac_vac, and slac_vp.
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Posts: 2,288


« Reply #8 on: July 31, 2007, 12:13:53 pm »

So sorry to hear about the job situation, obscure.

Please reconsider leaving the forums.  Take a break from us if that's what you need, but come back when you can.  Go to the library, or a cafe, or some other hotspot and reconnect when you're ready.
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"...the world between reality and fantasy improv nonsense is blurred in Columbus." -David Gaus
treehugger
New member
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Posts: 42


« Reply #9 on: July 31, 2007, 1:56:16 pm »

This is heartbreaking obscure, but you have friends here--try to stay connected if you can, if only to remind yourself that you are not alone, there are people who care about you, and your value as a human being is not dependent on the job that you do. I too would urge you to get professional help, and you can always fall back on AA meetings (which are free) so that you have a face-to-face support network.
Samulet is right--you will survive this--good luck!
With every good wish,
TH
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tortugaphd
Senior member
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Posts: 850


« Reply #10 on: July 31, 2007, 2:00:47 pm »

I'm so sorry, obscure.  I don't know what to say.  Put yourself first in all of this at this very difficult time.  Do whatever you need to do to keep yourself sheltered and fed
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fiona
Distinguished Senior Member
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Posts: 15,764


« Reply #11 on: July 31, 2007, 2:03:14 pm »

I hope you can stay connected, "Laika." We're concerned about you, and want to know how you are, and to keep in touch.

The Fiona
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The Fiona or Them FionŠ or Fiona the Sublime

Professor of Thread Killing, Fiork University
crazybatlady
The Very First
Distinguished Senior Member
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Posts: 4,867


« Reply #12 on: July 31, 2007, 2:05:47 pm »

I also want to throw my voice into the crowd and say I wish you the best and I hope you stay here.

cbl
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As always, CBL rules!  All hail the CBL!
principessa
New member
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Posts: 40


« Reply #13 on: July 31, 2007, 2:18:54 pm »

Dear Obscure,

I realize that this is the least of your problems right now (as the above posters noted, we are all worried about how you are feeling), but before you stop paying the mortgage, please consider contacting your bank to work out a payment plan.  The mortgage industry is reeling from subprime loan foreclosures, and they are working with people to help them keep their houses.  Another option is a short sale, in which homeowners contact their bank and receive approval to sell their home for less than the mortgage is worth.  If the bank agrees, they will accept the money you receive from the sale of your home in lieu of your mortgage (the advantage for banks is that they avoid a forclosure proceding, and the months in which you do not pay your mortgage).  You would need to contact both a real estate lawyer and your bank about this option, but it is much better than simply walking away from your home and losing it to foreclosure.  If you are able to sell your home, you will be able to move anywhere in the country to start your life over and find productive employment in a supportive environment.

Best of luck to you!

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vortex
Senior member
****
Posts: 421

zen


« Reply #14 on: July 31, 2007, 2:26:03 pm »

Dear Obscure,

I realize that this is the least of your problems right now (as the above posters noted, we are all worried about how you are feeling), but before you stop paying the mortgage, please consider contacting your bank to work out a payment plan.  The mortgage industry is reeling from subprime loan foreclosures, and they are working with people to help them keep their houses.  Another option is a short sale, in which homeowners contact their bank and receive approval to sell their home for less than the mortgage is worth.  If the bank agrees, they will accept the money you receive from the sale of your home in lieu of your mortgage (the advantage for banks is that they avoid a forclosure proceding, and the months in which you do not pay your mortgage).  You would need to contact both a real estate lawyer and your bank about this option, but it is much better than simply walking away from your home and losing it to foreclosure.  If you are able to sell your home, you will be able to move anywhere in the country to start your life over and find productive employment in a supportive environment.

Best of luck to you!



This is good advice Obscure.  You do have a future!  Don't do anything that will come back to haunt you.
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It is in this fathom-long body endowed with mind that the beginning and end of this world are made known. -- The Buddha
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