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Author Topic: I slept with the head of the SC - should I still apply for the job?  (Read 26472 times)
adrift
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« on: January 04, 2008, 10:40:43 pm »

A few years back I had a brief tryst with a senior colleague at a very prestigious university - I knew at the time that it was a bad idea given that I was still a grad student, and he was a relatively prominent mover and shaker in my field - but i gave in. We didn't stay in touch (he kind of blew me off after it was over) and i haven't really seen or spoken with him since.

Now I've run across a job posting - which I am perfectly qualified for - at his prestigious university, and he is the head of the SC!

I'm torn because it is basically my dream job, but at the same time I'm sure that they will be flooded with applications so my chances would probably be slim even if i didn't have a sordid past with the SC..

what do you all think? Should I apply? Do I have a snow ball's chance in hell?

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prytania3
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« Reply #1 on: January 04, 2008, 10:48:13 pm »

I guess it depends on how good it was.
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dr_stones
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« Reply #2 on: January 04, 2008, 10:49:17 pm »

Make sure you discretely incorporate your safety word into the application letter.

Then, when you get to campus, ask to meet his wife.
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"History does not repeat itself, but it does rhyme." Samuel "Steroid Free" Clemens
svenc
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« Reply #3 on: January 04, 2008, 10:50:36 pm »

On balance, I think you have the same chance you would have had if you had kept your pants on a few years ago.

Let's try to put our heads into your senior colleague's mind for a minute.  There are a few possibilities:

1. Your senior colleague may try to keep his distance from you, given your past. 

2. If you are clearly qualified, the senior colleague may bend over backwards to make sure you are considered, lest your personal past be brought up as a reason to have not considered you. 

3.  I may be an idealist here, but I think a majority of people would actually try their darnedest to not let this influence their thinking (not that it wouldn't, but I think most of us would *try* to be objective).

4.  Your senior colleague may invite you out for a campus visit in the hopes he'll get lucky again.

And I'm sure there are about twenty other possibilities.  I have no idea how good my armchair analysis skills are, but my point is that there are many ways this can play out that still involve you getting a hearing.

More importantly, keep in mind that in most places several people review the files.  The SC chair is the quarterback, not the whole team.  If you are a strong candidate, others will have you in mind as well and it is unlikely that your senior colleague will say, "We can't consider her, I slept with her."

So yes, you have a chance.  Apply.
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dogvomit
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« Reply #4 on: January 04, 2008, 11:11:46 pm »

I guess it depends on how good it was.

which position are you refering to?  the job, or.....

seriously, this could be used as a strength.  If you can act professional despite that, you might come off as simply marvelous.  Of course, no one has interviewed you yet.  I'm sure that the guy/gal isn't going to bring it up during the interview!
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hide_my_moniker
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« Reply #5 on: January 04, 2008, 11:19:58 pm »

"My past experience with a member in your department indicates that the possibility of mutual satisfaction is high."
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trabb
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« Reply #6 on: January 04, 2008, 11:27:21 pm »

Should I apply? Do I have a snow ball's chance in hell?

I guess it depends on how good it was.

prytania - to which question was this a response?
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prytania3
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« Reply #7 on: January 04, 2008, 11:29:12 pm »

Should I apply? Do I have a snow ball's chance in hell?

I guess it depends on how good it was.

prytania - to which question was this a response?

Uh, I meant the night of the tryst.
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dr_stones
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« Reply #8 on: January 04, 2008, 11:29:53 pm »

Pry must be talking about the sex, because the job is entirely prospective and the sex is the only retrospective aspect of the OP.
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minidonut
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« Reply #9 on: January 04, 2008, 11:59:15 pm »

Quote
2. If you are clearly qualified, the senior colleague may bend over backwards to make sure you are considered, lest your personal past be brought up as a reason to have not considered you.

I tend to think this is true; universities are terrified of getting sued these days (rightly so, unfortunately), and don't want to do anything that leaves them even slightly vulnerable in that regard.

I'd apply.
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adrift
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« Reply #10 on: January 05, 2008, 12:07:09 am »

I hope you guys are right, hopefully he will try to be professional and objective... I thought about sending him a personal email to say that I was going to apply but I thought it might be best to just ignore the whole thing and pretend like it never happened...

at least he's not married - that would really suck
« Last Edit: January 05, 2008, 12:09:13 am by adrift » Logged
voxprincipalis
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« Reply #11 on: January 05, 2008, 12:08:56 am »

A few years back I had a brief tryst with a senior colleague at a very prestigious university - I knew at the time that it was a bad idea given that I was still a grad student, and he was a relatively prominent mover and shaker in my field - but i gave in. We didn't stay in touch (he kind of blew me off after it was over) and i haven't really seen or spoken with him since.

Now I've run across a job posting - which I am perfectly qualified for - at his prestigious university, and he is the head of the SC!

I'm torn because it is basically my dream job, but at the same time I'm sure that they will be flooded with applications so my chances would probably be slim even if i didn't have a sordid past with the SC..

what do you all think? Should I apply? Do I have a snow ball's chance in hell?

If you get the job, you will have to work with this guy for (possibly) the next 30 years. Do you really want that?

Personally, there is no way in hell that I would apply for that job. The personal stress on top of the normal stress of a TT job would be the end of me. Always wondering whether you did or did not get something because of that past relationship, wondering whether anyone else in the department knew, and what impact that might have on political battles in the department... to me it just wouldn't be worth it. Not even close.

VP
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felix_unger
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« Reply #12 on: January 05, 2008, 12:11:14 am »

which position are you refering to? 


Ohhh....so tempting!
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scheherazade
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« Reply #13 on: January 05, 2008, 12:15:56 am »

I hope you guys are right, hopefully he will try to be professional and objective... I thought about sending him a personal email to say that I was going to apply but I thought it might be best to just ignore the whole thing and pretend like it never happened...

at least he's not married - that would really suck


AHH!  Please don't send him an email about it or ever, ever bring it up again to him or anyone else in a 50 mile radius of the university.  Then you will not be acting like a professional.  Drop it.  Move on.  Apply for the job, and pretend it never happened.

And, God forbid, if he mentions it, just laugh and say, "Oh, that was years ago!"  Then change the subject.
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historian
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« Reply #14 on: January 05, 2008, 12:44:38 am »

Uh, I hate to be the first to suggest this, but it did occur to me that given the limited info give ----  pick-up tryst where he bailed as soon as possible...he may not recall your name and , if he meets you again, might not even recall you.  He might be a bit of a pick-up artist and a "few years ago" might be a few dozen willing grad students ago...

Or, she, whatever the sex of the person.
That said, I would not touch the job. No matter how dreamy, its not worth the personal and professional complications for YOU
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