Weird things turned in

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I carry a file box with me to class that has a folder for each student's graded items and another where all students turn in all assignments. In my Turn-It-In-Here folder, I collected a two page assignment, and most students smartly stapled their pages together. One student's staple held three pages.

Her third page was the following, typed.

You know it's hard out here for a pimp
When he tryin to get his money for the rent
For the Cadillacs and gas money spent
Because a whole lot of b*tches talkin s***
Will have a whole lot of b*tches talkin s***

In my eyes I done seen some crazy thangs in the streets
Gotta couple hoes workin on the changes for me
But I gotta keep my game tight like Kobe on game night
Like takin from a ho don't know no better, I know that ain't right
Done seen people killed, done seen people deal
Done seen people live in poverty with no meals
It's f***ed up where I live, but that's just how it is
It might be new to you but it's been like this for years

This goes on for a full page. It gets more vulgar as it goes on. I googled. It's a rap song by a group who calls themselves three six mafia.

I detached the page and put it in the student's return folder with her name and a note saying, "I don't think this was meant for me?"

Today, after the student cleared her folder and returned to her seat, she came back up with that piece of paper.

Her: This isn't mine.
Me: It was attached to your homework.
Her: It's not mine.
Me: It was stapled to your homework with your name on the first page.
Her: I've never seen this before and I don't know what it is.
<she drops it in the trash can and returns to her seat.>

After class, I retrieved it for posterity and to share with the fora.

Has anyone else had weird non-homework items turned in?

Yes. A handwritten, extremely explicit love letter, from the student to the student's boyfriend, stapled as the last sheet in a math assignment.

I was very tempted to correct the grammar and spelling with a red pen, but refrained.

You know that song is an Oscar winner, right? I mean I don't know the song, beyond the host (was it John Stewart?) saying" It's hard out there for a pimp: 1, Martin Scorcese: 0"

My former chair says that one year, back in the days when our SLAC was an all-male institution, when he was grading essay exams in bluebooks, he finished reading an essay, then flipped the page just to see if there was anything else.

The student had attached, with tape, a carefully cut out centerfold from something like Playboy.

I once got a list of every cow in the herd along with an assessment of the progress of her pregnancy and/or calf.

I also had a student who used to write what really looked like a prayer on every paper she turned in, but it wasn't to God, but to her boyfriend. He, too, was one of my students, which made that slightly uncomfortable.


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