It’s never pleasant to have your pet project rejected, but how you cope with the bad news — especially when it’s artlessly delivered — can affect your future relationships and career options.
We’ve all dealt with leaders who were particularly bad at saying No. A former chair at a New England college told me how her department had spent long hours putting together a plan to bolster enrollment in its major — only to have the dean, 10 minutes into her presentation, dismissively proclaim: “This isn’t going to happen.” Relations between the dean and the department did not recover.
In the financial climate of higher education today, all of us are saying and hearing No a lot more often. Clearly there is an etiquette to rejecting something (or someone) gracefully and with minimal blowback. It follows, then, that there is, or should be, an etiquette for how to accept a No without hurting your career or unit. That is the subject of this month’s Admin 101 column. In this era of administrative anxiety in higher ed, I’ve been writing about the importance of finding good mentors, believing that your work matters, and building trust. Now I turn to the dos and don’ts of reacting to a rejection.
Assume it’s business, not personal. Much as I hesitate to proffer advice from Michael Corleone, friends and colleagues say No to each other all the time in every enterprise today, including higher education. The first step in transcending a No in the academic workplace — without rancor or bitterness — is to accept those words of wisdom from The Godfather: “It’s not personal; it’s strictly business.”
In all of my various administrative hats, most recently as a dean, I have been friendly toward, and even friends with, people to whom I did not grant something they particularly wanted or requested. Likewise, I’ve had my ideas and requests denied by people whom I regard as friends. I have also approved proposals from people I disliked, and I hope (maybe naïvely) to be fairly considered on “asks” I make from folks who hold no love in their heart for me.
So when you get turned down — unless you have hard evidence that it came from actual antagonism — give the naysayer the benefit of the doubt. Shake it off and move on to the next item of business.
In this series, David D. Perlmutter writes about pursuing a career in academic administration and about surviving and thriving as a leader – whether you are a chair, a dean, a provost, and or any of the positions in between and beyond.
Moreover, consider the big picture: A low-drama, get-along culture is more important to uphold than a temporary win on any one issue. One reason that pockets of academe — labs, departments, and sometimes even entire campuses — have a well-deserved reputation for toxicity is because they’ve allowed minor and major disagreements to metastasize into lifelong feuds and standing grievances.
For the sake of all, don’t contribute to an atmosphere of negativity. In the long run, especially when you might be dealing with the same people year after year, accepting a No graciously (even if it’s rudely delivered) is good for your soul and your career, not to mention the ideals we say we strive for.
Your civil reaction to No can lay the groundwork for a future Yes. A veteran dean once told me how disappointed she was when the provost and the president killed a project that she’d thought vital for the future of her college. Yet she accepted their verdict without protest or acrimony. She also resisted the urge to go back to her college’s faculty members and blame the failure on “evil administrators.” Six months later, she met with that same provost and president who enthusiastically supported another of her proposals. They both said they appreciated that she hadn’t “raised a fuss” and “thrown us under the bus” for the earlier refusal.
In 20 years of working in higher-ed administration, I, too, have found that being a good sport can help you score wins down the road.
Moreover, every administrator has to balance “managing up” and being a dutiful advocate. Part of that dynamic is understanding the plight — and I don’t think that word is misplaced — of those above you on the organizational chart.
When I was director of a school within a huge college of arts and sciences, I understood that on any given day, my dean received a dozen or more pitches — for budget, hiring, equipment, and space requests, among others. All of us were convinced that our proposal was essential for the future of our program, if not for the greater good of humankind. Campuses are full of people who are very passionate about what we do. But I tried hard to make it clear to my boss — whom I “served at the pleasure of” — that I understood that money and other resources were limited and that the dean’s decisions might not reflect my priorities. During my tenure, I feel I was supported more on average than if I had reacted to every No with bluster and outrage.
Taking No for an answer with good humor is not just beneficial for the culture, it is also a smart long-term investment for your career and your constituency.
Read the room. Is the No final, conditional, or temporary? Most academics are familiar with the concept of “revise and resubmit.” As is true of journal articles, so, too, is the case with administrative proposals: You may be asked to try again.
A department chair in physics and astronomy at a Western university recounted how the administration had rejected his proposal for a new lab three times. Each time, he had been told to “try again in three months” and given suggestions for how to fine-tune the proposal to better fit campus priorities. The fourth time was the charm, and he got his lab. He did not feel that the previous attempts were real rejections but rather supportive calls for a literal revision.
The etiquette for the administrative version of “revise and resubmit” is simple: Be friendly, listen, and ask polite questions about how to improve your proposal. Sure, sometimes a rejection is final. But if you’re too caught up in your own resentment or frustration, you may miss any hints of a second chance.
Maybe the No is deserved … and the best outcome. My first full-time post in academic administration was as an interim associate dean for graduate studies and research. Early on, I proposed several new courses for our relatively new doctoral program. The details are hazy in my mind now — perhaps due to their unpleasantness — but I do remember clearly that my ideas were voted down.
I did not take it well. Why didn’t everybody agree with me? I honestly and passionately felt that I was right. My sulk lasted about a week until I was able to analyze the events with less emotion. I forced myself to review the notes of the meeting and concluded that I was wrong, after all. In brief, I realized we couldn’t afford what I had proposed. My excitement about a shiny new idea had blinded me to prosaic logistics — a mistake I have since tried to avoid.
The fact that you might be wrong, and not the one wronged, is a very good reason to avoid overreacting when your big idea gets shot down. It’s a meta-lesson for maintaining mental stability in administration, and just good politics. Everybody appreciates confidence in a leader, but when it spills into the realm of arrogance, it harms your thinking and your brand.
No is sometimes the right call. Handle it well and you improve the higher-ed workplace for everyone. And all of those Nos can help you become a better asker and proposer next time.
