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Beating Yourself Up Is Labor, but It’s Not Work

Advice from an academic-productivity expert on how to extinguish self-defeating talk about your research abilities.

By  Rebecca Schuman
November 8, 2022
illustration of an African American woman surrounded by stacks of papers
Eric Petersen for The Chronicle

Note: In the “Are You Working?” series, a Ph.D. and academic-writing coach answers questions from faculty members and graduate students about scholarly motivation and productivity. This month’s questions arrived via Twitter and Facebook. Read her previous columns here.

Question: Once again, a week has gone by when I’ve made no progress on my work. I created a reasonable work plan, gave myself tangible goals, set up specific work times, offered myself rewards — yet once again, I’ve failed to do anything, and I’m even more behind than I was before. I’m about to give up.

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Note: In the “Are You Working?” series, a Ph.D. and academic-writing coach answers questions from faculty members and graduate students about scholarly motivation and productivity. This month’s questions arrived via Twitter and Facebook. Read her previous columns here.

Question: Once again, a week has gone by when I’ve made no progress on my work. I created a reasonable work plan, gave myself tangible goals, set up specific work times, offered myself rewards — yet once again, I’ve failed to do anything, and I’m even more behind than I was before. I’m about to give up.

Signed,
Despondent

Dear Despondent,

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It’s probably no consolation to tell you that, when I first meet clients, most of them are in a similar state. By the time people seek me out for help with their academic writing and research, they’re usually pretty upset with the state of their productivity.

The bad news is: I’m not going to tell you whether you should or shouldn’t “give up.” I don’t know if you’re a graduate student in the middle of a dissertation, a senior scholar, or something in between. But only you know whether continuing in this career trajectory is the right choice for you.

I do know that you should be mindful of the “sunk cost” fallacy and try not to worry about the time you’ve already spent on whatever project is currently ruining your happiness. If you truly feel like you’ve had enough of this project or of academic work altogether, I hope you understand that making the difficult choice to drop the project or to shift your career in a new direction is not, in fact, “giving up.” Indeed, the only advice I have for you today is about the language you’re using with yourself — which, ironically, may be a large part of what’s keeping this project so onerous.

Let’s take apart what you’ve told me here:

  • “I’ve made no progress on my work.”
  • “I’ve failed.”
  • “I’m behind.”

Of course you feel terrible that the work plan you devised and the goals you set (good strategies, by the way) have not come to fruition. In academe, beating yourself up about your scholarly disappointments is almost embedded in the culture and may even feel instinctive to you at this point. After all, your academic “betters” have likely been modeling that same behavior for years, if not decades. It’s a bad habit that may, indeed, leave you feeling exhausted at the end of a day. And it’s hurting you in other ways that you may not even realize.

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For in addition to the practical issue at hand — your writing is behind schedule — you now also have a painful, negative association both with the work and with your own ability to do it. And while you may be utterly convinced that the association has a direct relationship to reality, why foster it when it’s only digging you into a hole that’s going to be even harder to crawl your way out of (and watch the process repeat itself)?

Here’s a different approach: Try stating the same facts, but this time, use entirely value-neutral language. What’s stopping you from being a robot for a second and just deciding that value judgments are irrelevant? Because they are.

Listen, I am not trying to sell you on toxic positivity here. Even regular positivity is toxic to me. Nobody is making anyone smile. I’m just asking you to consider being a little more impartial and open-minded about your work:

  • Don’t say: “I’ve made no progress on my work.” Say: “Tasks X, Y and Z were not completed this week.” (Yes, it’s passive voice. Deal with it!)
  • Don’t say: “I’ve failed to do anything once again.” Say: “Tasks X, Y and Z are now on my schedule for the following week.”
  • Don’t say: “I’m behind.” Say: “Since tasks X, Y and Z have been rescheduled, tasks Alpha, Beta and Gamma may need to be shuffled around.”

Will this actually help you finish the work? Possibly not directly, but it will certainly remove one of the obstacles. Will it stop you knocking yourself for not finishing? I hope so. You don’t need to get into any sort of argument with yourself to beat back all the negative self-talk. You’ll have plenty of time to wallow and be angry at some other juncture — for now, you have a schedule to assess.

Here’s the worst that can happen if you truly follow this judgment-free strategy: Your work continues to not get done but you won’t feel despondent about that anymore. Unless you work in epidemiology (in which case thank you for doing the Lord’s work during a pandemic), your academic scholarly writing is probably not going to save any lives if you finish it early, or kill anyone if it is done late. But you giving yourself the gift of value neutrality is going to make it easier for you to start working or keep working. And it can put you in a better position to accurately assess your career and next move.

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Question: I have been offered a new position and I’m really excited (and also stressed). However, I’m so excited (and stressed) that it’s become nearly impossible to concentrate on all of the projects that I was very clear I’d be bringing to my new institution near completion. Do you have any tips on how to concentrate during this time of excitement (and stress)?

Signed,
Did I mention that I’m excited? (And scared.)

Dear Excited/Scared,

You don’t need to be hopped up on “caffeine pills” to know the jittery, irritable, distractible feeling of having one foot out the door on the way to a better place. Presumably you’re changing jobs — not because you think moving is fun — but because the old institution was lacking in some (or many) ways. It would be all too tempting to just say forget it and check out mentally until the U-Haul pulls up.

But with months to go before you leave, it’s best not to slack off if you want to thrive at the great new gig that you no doubt spent an inordinate amount of time and effort to obtain. While you’re having trouble concentrating at the moment, I promise you, this jittery stage will wear off. And you’ll be able to concentrate again — up until a month or so before your moving date, at which point you should cease the charade of believing you can get anything done besides stress out about moving.

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In the meantime, here’s what I recommend instead.

Service. This one is easy. Basically, it’s OK to check out mentally on your committee work. Do the bare minimum necessary not to visibly anger the committee chairs. Be cordial and personable and show up to meetings on time and complete the tasks that you agreed to do three months ago. But anytime anyone asks you to take on something new, simply remind them that you’d love to, but alas, you’ll be gone by then.

Teaching. Teach your classes as normal — if anything, give them a little bit of extra effort. You may have students you’re going to miss, and you have no idea what the obligations of your new institution will entail, so concentrate on your pedagogy and get ready to take all of your favorite courses with you.

Research. In a stretch of months when you’re feeling easily distracted, try to focus on small tasks that need doing:

  • Does your spiffy new job come with a research assistant? Why not make a list of things you’d like this as-yet-imaginary assistant to do once hired?
  • Now would be a terrific time to concentrate on any sections of your project in which the research is complete but the writing is rough. Focus your restless energy on those 20 to 30 unsuspecting pages of mostly-done writing and make their sentences sound as elegant as possible.
  • Write short abstracts (150 to 200 words) of all of your works-in-progress. This task will not only help you focus as you work toward the finish, but also give you a head start on the elevator pitches you’ll likely be asked to give 90 times a day in your first few months at the new place.

A cautionary note: The prospect of a clean slate at a new institution may lead you to doubt your entire research agenda. Why not, you might think, scrap this whole thing and start fresh? Most likely, that is just your ambient anxiety in search of a target. So make a deal with yourself in the coming months not to dismantle any major ideas until you’re ensconced in what I hope will be a tony new office.

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And, of course, congratulations. (Now please switch to decaf.)

We welcome your thoughts and questions about this article. Please email the editors or submit a letter for publication.
Personal ProductivityScholarship & ResearchTeaching & LearningCareer AdvancementGraduate Education
Rebecca Schuman
Rebecca Schuman is an academic productivity consultant and a professor pro tempore of English, German, and Journalism at the University of Oregon, as well as an instructor of creative writing in the Stanford Continuing Studies program. Ask her a question on academic writing or productivity via X, Facebook, or email. She is on the social-media platform X @pankisseskafka.
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