Almost every mother we know has a story about an ill-timed breast-milk leak. Kristen’s story doubles as the moment of conception of our forthcoming book, Professor Mommy: Finding Work-Family Balance in Academia (Rowman & Littlefield). Kristen had flown from California to Maine for her first-ever campus interview, at Bowdoin College, leaving her month-old baby at home. After a day of back-to-back meetings, she found herself sitting in the dean’s office listening to a description of Bowdoin’s retirement program, when her milk started flowing into a dark, wet stain under her new suit jacket.
Not having told anyone that she had just had a baby for fear of discrimination, she had been given no opportunity to pump. What should have been a calm half-hour break to review her job talk after the meeting with the dean turned into a panicked pump-fest as Kristen struggled to dry out and regain her composure.
When Rachel, the chair of the search committee and a mother of four, later learned that Kristen had left her baby at home, she was mortified. Surely, had Kristen told her, alternative arrangements could have been made. But even then we both understood that many people believe that being a mother is not compatible with being a successful academic, and that, in fact, Kristen had acted prudently given her longer-term goals.
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Although almost a decade has passed since that day, we believe there is still a great need for an honest, no-holds-barred, “how to” book for young women hoping to combine a family with an academic career. Yes, work-family balance issues in the academy have improved greatly since Rachel’s first child was born, in 1986, but as we talk with our students who are considering a career in academics, we are continually reminded of the challenges that remain. Our goal in Professor Mommy is to offer practical advice for all stages of a scholarly career—from graduate school through retirement—on research, teaching, networking, professional and service obligations, and family life. This advice is intended not only for scholars at research universities, but also for those at comprehensive universities, liberal-arts colleges, and community colleges.
Young women who aspire to be scholars and mothers need to know what they are getting into, and unfortunately dissertation chairs are not always the best mentors. Making it in academe is hard. The time commitment is high, the job market is tight, and success depends a great deal on the sometimes capricious external assessments of one’s work. But it is important to realize that academe is hard for everyone, both men and women, with or without children. A lot of single scholars without children are refused tenure; many are not even able to land a tenure-track job in the first place.
Still, there is statistical evidence that women with children have a harder time achieving tenure than men and women without children, and are also less likely to earn tenure than men with children. While the gender gap may be narrowing, the truth is that the disorienting effects of fertility drugs, pregnancy hormones, labor and delivery, nursing, physical exhaustion, and the possibility of postpartum depression are uniquely the birth mother’s problems, no matter how involved her partner is.
All of this means that a young female scholar who wants a family needs to think long and hard about her choice, understand as much as she can about the decision-making process, and use her time strategically. Yet we believe that forestalling starting a family is not necessary to achieve tenure. Given the many years it takes to complete graduate school, plus the years that may be spent as a visiting professor or postdoc, waiting until after tenure to get pregnant is a good formula for never having children. At the same time, it is no guarantee of a successful academic career. As difficult as it may be to be both a successful academic and a mother, it is absolutely possible. There are many successful Professor Mommies out there.
Not only do we argue that it can be done, but in the end, we are strong boosters of the choice to be Professor Mommy—doing both is well worth it! We read what we want, we write about what interests us, we enjoy our hours in the classroom and in the library, and ultimately we have multiple pathways in which to influence a new generation of young students and scholars. And to top it off, we go home to someone who calls us “Mom.”
Have we persuaded you to at least think about opting in to the joint goal of tenure and motherhood, or are you already decided but need some help along the way? We suggest that first you dig your way through the myths and stereotypes about what it takes to be a successful academic and mother. Among the myths we tackle in our book are these: “There is no longer sexism in the academy” and “Being smart and working hard are enough.” Next, we suggest that you ask yourself some key questions:
1. Are you sure you want to be a professor? Be sure. It is not a part-time job, and it takes years of work to be in the running.
2. How many children should you have? Kristen has one, Rachel has four. Are you surprised that our answer is between one and four?
3. When in your career should you have children? In large part that depends on your calendar age, not your location on the career ladder. If you do want children, don’t wait too long. Infertility is very unpleasant.
4. Are you aware of the challenges you will face? Know that it is not going to be easy to be both a mother and an academic, but there are things you can do to make it possible.
5. Have you done research about where you want to work? There is considerable variation among different types of institutions, even those within a given tier, in expectations, resources, and working environments.
6. What is your time worth? Be disciplined with it—use it for important things and try not to interrupt yourself. Make sure you devote enough time to your work in order to be successful. You can’t do a full-time academic job in 20 hours a week. At the same time, try to provide consistent, predictable time for your children.
7. What parts of your life can you outsource? Don’t waste your time on unimportant things. Buy the highest quality child care you can afford when your children are young, and use it without feeling guilty.
8. What work-family balance policies are available at your institution? If you are eligible for a paid parental leave, take it. If you are eligible for an unpaid leave, take it if you can afford it. Do not expect your parental leave to be a research leave. You will be busy doing what you need to do at that moment—recovering from childbirth, making a lot of breast milk, and hanging with your newborn baby.
9. Are you schmoozing enough? Networking is important to your success in academe. Take it as seriously as the rest of your job.
10. Are you saying No enough? Learn to say No politely, but often. There is a time and a place for everything.
11. Do you already have tenure? There are still plenty of things to think about. Are you doing the type of research you want to be doing? Are you spending too much or too little time on teaching? Are you ready to take up your role as someone who smooths the path for future generations? This is the time to say Yes more often, but only to those things that you really care about. That same advice works at home: Your time is still scarce. Be very conscious of how you use it.
As in any race, keeping your eyes on the finish line helps you get there. The academic race starts out as a sprint but turns into a marathon. If you achieve tenure in your late 30s, you still have a good 35 years left in your career. Your academic life will outlast the period of intensive parental responsibilities. Your books and articles, and your students, may be as much a part of your legacy as your children. Professor Mommy calls on us to celebrate them all.
Both motherhood and academe can be incredibly fulfilling vocations despite the many challenges of trying to combine them. The bottom line is to understand the realities but not to get discouraged. Plenty of women have done this, and plenty more will do so in the future, as long as they get honest guidance and advice on how to scale the steep and often slick walls of the ivory tower. Let one of them be your child’s mother.
