As freshmen arrive on campus for orientation, so are many parents. According to a 2017 survey by NODA, the Association for Orientation, Transition, and Retention in Higher Education, 83 percent of institutions offer sessions for parents or other family members.
Often these efforts focus on helping moms and dads let go and allow their kids to make choices — and mistakes — on their own.
But as students face more health and safety problems, and as cellphones and other technologies have made communications between child and parent nearly constant, some colleges are using orientation to better prepare parents to be resources for their sons or daughters to help think through big questions or navigate rough patches away from home.
Part of that process is encouraging parents to have uncomfortable conversations with their college-age kids.
How do colleges reach new students with the messages crucial to their safety and academic success?
At the University of Oregon, Kerry Frazee, director of prevention services, gives a talk to parents on the second day of orientation. She asks them to stay engaged with their children and to talk about health, relationships, consent, and making healthful living choices.
“I want them to lean in and have a conversation with their students,” she says.
In her experience, even if the conversations are challenging, students want to hear from their parents. “I try to empower the parents that their voice is so valuable still. There’s a desire from the students to learn from a trusted source.”
She sees parents respond well to this message — that while they need to let go of controlling their children’s academic journey, there’s still a need — and a desire — for them to engage in their children’s emotional lives.
This parents’ session is one of Ms. Frazee’s favorite parts of summer orientation. “I feel like I have a strong connection with parents on how to have conversations with their students,” she says. She shares anecdotes from the upperclassmen she works with about what they wish their parents had known.
Mental health is an important area that colleges focus on with parents, pointing out how they can, and cannot, be involved.
Some colleges are putting out parents’ guides to students mental health and wellness, which includes what parents will not be able to do — get confidential medical information — and what they can do. They can offer support or call the college or the police in times of severe concern, says Nance Roy, chief clinical officer at the Jed Foundation, which, among other things, works with colleges on suicide prevention.
In the case of students who have come to campus with mental-health conditions, this represents a big change for parents who have been used to being closely involved in treatment decisions.