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The Most Cringeworthy Monuments to Colleges’ Innovation Jargon

By  Chris Quintana
March 6, 2017
John P. Leary, an assistant professor of English at Wayne State U., has needled colleges that embrace the jargon of innovation. He poked fun at the U. of Pennsylvania’s Pennovation Center, saying it was not just a sign, 
“but an entire building, and a delicious pun.”
John Donges, Flickr
John P. Leary, an assistant professor of English at Wayne State U., has needled colleges that embrace the jargon of innovation. He poked fun at the U. of Pennsylvania’s Pennovation Center, saying it was not just a sign, “but an entire building, and a delicious pun.”

A riddle: When is a bench not a bench?

The answer: When, as Michigan State University posits, it’s an idea generator.

That’s one of several cringeworthy slogans identified by John P. Leary, an assistant professor of English at Wayne State University.

Mr. Leary keeps an eye peeled for that type of language, which he calls financial jargon seeping out of the business world. The bench, he says, is a good example of its appearance in higher ed.

“It’s a banal example,” he says, but “as I think someone pointed out, there’s probably a highly paid consultant that work-shopped that slogan for about the price of three adjunct English professors.”

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John P. Leary, an assistant professor of English at Wayne State U., has needled colleges that embrace the jargon of innovation. He poked fun at the U. of Pennsylvania’s Pennovation Center, saying it was not just a sign, 
“but an entire building, and a delicious pun.”
John Donges, Flickr
John P. Leary, an assistant professor of English at Wayne State U., has needled colleges that embrace the jargon of innovation. He poked fun at the U. of Pennsylvania’s Pennovation Center, saying it was not just a sign, “but an entire building, and a delicious pun.”

A riddle: When is a bench not a bench?

The answer: When, as Michigan State University posits, it’s an idea generator.

That’s one of several cringeworthy slogans identified by John P. Leary, an assistant professor of English at Wayne State University.

Mr. Leary keeps an eye peeled for that type of language, which he calls financial jargon seeping out of the business world. The bench, he says, is a good example of its appearance in higher ed.

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“It’s a banal example,” he says, but “as I think someone pointed out, there’s probably a highly paid consultant that work-shopped that slogan for about the price of three adjunct English professors.”

Last week Mr. Leary solicited on Twitter examples of colleges and universities that are embracing such language. Here are a few, including a table not to be used for homework but for “entrepreneurial purposes only.”

I’m #curating a contest for the awfullest university #startup signage. Plz share the worst pics from your entrepre-versity! First up, MSU: pic.twitter.com/ii4Lp97fVs

— John Pat Leary (@JohnPatLeary) March 2, 2017

Up next, contestant #2: UPenn’s Pennovation Center. Not a sign, but an entire building, and a delicious pun @JohnPatLeary pic.twitter.com/f55zIJaWkT

— John Pat Leary (@JohnPatLeary) March 3, 2017

Contestant #3 is the promotional video for the USC Iovine & Young Academy, where “the degree is in disruption” https://t.co/ldCSk7jdxx

— John Pat Leary (@JohnPatLeary) March 3, 2017

This podcast, from Stanford: “innovation is like a new romance” (eg: “all parties must have ‘skin in the game’”) https://t.co/DyWCqa5xJK

— John Pat Leary (@JohnPatLeary) March 3, 2017

Finally, our last contestant, NYU. No homework, only startupping pic.twitter.com/hDV8CkLPSu

— John Pat Leary (@JohnPatLeary) March 3, 2017

Mr. Leary also conducted a survey asking readers to choose the “entrepreneurial university propaganda.” As of Monday morning, the Michigan State University bench and the New York University table were atop the survey standings.

Congratulations to our finalists, NYU’s “No not-for-profit-homework” and MSU’s “No resting only entrepreneuring” bench! pic.twitter.com/IHABZZ5nMT

— John Pat Leary (@JohnPatLeary) March 5, 2017

Chris Quintana is a breaking-news reporter. Follow him on Twitter @cquintanadc or email him at chris.quintana@chronicle.com.

We welcome your thoughts and questions about this article. Please email the editors or submit a letter for publication.
Chris Quintana
Chris Quintana was a breaking-news reporter for The Chronicle. He graduated from the University of New Mexico with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing.
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