For 32 years I taught a writing course at my state university and loved it. Being an adjunct lecturer with no tenure, I didn’t get sabbaticals, but when I got a Fulbright to teach in Sri Lanka for a year, the university gave me (unpaid) leave.
When I told the department chair I was going to retire, he protested in a way that I am pretty sure was sincere. I was teaching a required course, and my students had been generous in their reviews of it. The chair asked whether I’d consider teaching a couple of sections that fall even though I’d be retired. “We’ll pay you the rate for visiting faculty, and you’ll be collecting your pension.”
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For 32 years I taught a writing course at my state university and loved it. Being an adjunct lecturer with no tenure, I didn’t get sabbaticals, but when I got a Fulbright to teach in Sri Lanka for a year, the university gave me (unpaid) leave.
When I told the department chair I was going to retire, he protested in a way that I am pretty sure was sincere. I was teaching a required course, and my students had been generous in their reviews of it. The chair asked whether I’d consider teaching a couple of sections that fall even though I’d be retired. “We’ll pay you the rate for visiting faculty, and you’ll be collecting your pension.”
I agreed. That was April.
In May I found out about the background check. An agency hired by the university emailed me. In order to assist the university in evaluating my suitability for a teaching position, they needed information about past employment. They sent me a form.
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I emailed back: “I have just retired after 32 years of teaching at this university. Do I really have to fill out this form?” I suggested that, since I had held this same job for three-plus decades, an extensive record of my work existed in files of course evaluations, department chair’s notes and comments about me, and the process of promotion to senior lecturer.
They replied: “Dear Valued Customer. Thank you for contacting Customer Service and Support. Case Number 14XRT19B has been created in response to your email regarding subject: background verification. Best regards, Customer Service. “
I know that schools and colleges have to protect themselves against drug dealers, sexual predators, tax evaders, and other sneaky people who present themselves as educational professionals. There are laws. And since I had retired, I was now a New Hire.
I filled out the forms, listing previous jobs (mostly teaching), places (Tennessee, Switzerland, Massachusetts), dates, names of supervisors, contact information. Since my department had hired me for my writing experience with journals, newspapers, and nonprofit organizations, as well as for my teaching experience, I included self-employment on the jobs list, giving examples. And I included the Fulbright.
Back came the next email: “You have indicated that you are self-employed. To verify this information, we ask that you provide documentation that represents your starting and ending dates of employment. Acceptable documentation includes professionally prepared tax statement signed by a third party, 1099 forms, business license, article of incorporation, state tax license, or county clerk record of DBA.”
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It’s good that I hadn’t been freelancing as an arms smuggler. To prove that my self-employment was nowhere near so exciting, I could dig through piles of newspaper columns, magazine articles, and fund-raising brochures I had written, plus 18 years’ worth of 1099 forms, all in file drawers and boxes in the attic. They said I could upload the requested documents to the company’s Applicant Center, I could scan them and email them, or I could fax everything to them. Best regards etc.
A professionally prepared tax statement signed by a third party? I do my own taxes. I report all income from self-employment. The IRS has never had a problem with my returns.
Articles of incorporation? For a freelance writer?
I emailed again: “Forgive me if I seemed abrupt in my previous reaction to your request. Here is more information:
Besides the jobs I referred to in responding to your original request, I have done other work. In 1972 I worked for two weeks in a liquor store in New Haven; it was Christmas, and they needed extra employees. I can find no records of my time there, but I think the store was the Chapel Street Liquor Store. I got paid $100 per week. I have no tax return for that year, since my total income was below the required filing threshold.
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In 1970 I worked at Marboro Books in New York City, the 42nd Street and the 57th Street stores. I was paid $2 per hour, eventually raised to $2.25 and then $2.50. During that time I also starred in an underground movie. The director had barely enough money to buy film, so I was paid nothing. I did, however, get to be in a nude scene.
In the fall of 1970 and spring of 1971, I was paid $35 per month to sing (tenor) in the choir at Christ Episcopal Church in Nashville, Tennessee. About that same time, I earned approximately $450 for acting and voice-overs in films produced by the Methodist Church. The Methodists had no problem with hiring an Episcopalian for the purpose.
In 1969 I was in the Peace Corps, teaching English in the Lamjung District of Nepal. I have none of the paperwork from that job, but I was paid the equivalent of $50 in Nepalese rupees. For further information, please contact the U.S. State Department.
In 1966 I earned $600 for teaching water-skiing and taking care of a cabin of four 11-year-old boys at Camp Highlands, in Wisconsin. I think that camp is still in business.
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To scan the 1099 forms from all my self-employment would be tedious beyond belief. However, I am sending you photos of the box containing my tax returns from 2003 through 2015, another box containing tax returns going back to the 1980s, a couple of my Form 1099’s, and a copy of my Schedule C (income from self-employment) for 2011. My Schedule C’s from other years look like this one.
Anyone from your office who wishes to peruse the files in these boxes is welcome to email me to schedule an appointment.”
The agency emailed me back to say they understood that it was a time-consuming process. Eager to consume more of my time, they sent another email the next day: “To expedite the completion of your background verification: Please provide the documents issued by USA Fulbright Commission.”
Proof of my Fulbright year? A Google search would have given them that information instantly. There was a photo of me, identified by name, at the top of the Core Fulbright Scholar Program home page, and another (drinking coconut milk) on a different page, along with an essay I had written about the experience.
“We make every effort to verify your information directly with the source provided,” the agency had said. Seriously? I say it’s one more example of a profit-maximizing business making every effort to get the Valued Customer do its work.
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I emailed the U.S.-Sri Lanka Fulbright Commission, asking them to let this agency know that indeed, as the U.S. State Department claimed, I’d had a Fulbright, and that the grant was for teaching, not for spying on the Tamil Tigers.
Eventually the agency told the university it was OK to hire me. Good thing they did. The classes went well, 50 undergrads got a course they needed for the major, and I wrote a bunch of recommendations for seniors for grad schools and jobs. Besides, I still had my keys to the building.
John R. Stifler is a retired lecturer in the department of economics at the University of Massachusetts at Amherst.