What I’m Reading: ‘How to Raise an Adult’

Courtesy of Erica Wagner

In the fall, I finished Julie Lythcott-Haims’s recent book, How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success. Ms. Lythcott-Haims, a former dean of freshmen at Stanford University, describes how woefully underprepared for adulthood are many students at prestigious universities. While they have impressive lists of accomplishments, they are dependent upon their parents to tell them what to do and how to do it.

The book reminded me of why I love working with undergraduate business students at Portland State University. We are no Stanford, but our business school is filled with capable, mature, driven students. If they miss class, it is often because a child or parent is ill, or they got called in for overtime and need to make rent. They accept the grade they earned without complaint.

When I meet with our students, I ask them to consider how they will differentiate themselves from others. We often find that the things that were most challenging in their upbringing — their struggle to make ends meet, to return to college after a failed attempt, to be the first in their family to attend college — are also their “secret sauce.” What the work force loves about our students is that they are hardworking, accountable, bright, and take nothing for granted. Those differences from the overparented students whom Ms. Lythcott-Haims describes in her book make them some of the most inspiring and determined degree seekers in the country.