I’m always asked by grad students who have just finished or who are about to finish their dissertation how it “feels to be done.”
Here’s a version of my response. I’d like to hear yours.
It takes a moment, so stay with me for this one, okay?
Consider the following scenario presented by Brides magazine: “After months of planning, endless phone calls, and entertaining relatives from out of town, the big day was all over. Rather than feeling relieved, as she’d anticipated, [the bride] was depressed. ‘I’d put my heart into it, and it was like someone had just died,’ she recalls. It might have helped [her] to know that such feelings are not only normal, but also healthy, according to Professor Edward Bader, M.A., of the department of family and community medicine at the University of Toronto. ‘Any event has some letdown, because you’ve channeled your energy in that direction. Afterward, there has to be some recouping of emotions.’ It is not for nothing that this unfortunate young woman compares her wedding to a funeral, since the ‘someone who just died’ of her analogy might well be the embodiment of the romantic illusions she was raised on. When you’ve looked forward to one event your whole life, how on earth are you supposed to be glad to see that moment pass? Studies show that conservative young women are particularly vulnerable to depression following their weddings.”
You see where this is going, right?
I want to suggest that the same sorts of feelings, vulnerabilities, weirdnesses, and general dispelling of illusions takes place when you finish a big academic project. Substitute and swap around a few words, and you’d get this: “After months of planning and writing, endless research, and working with professors, the big day was all over. Rather than feeling relieved, as she’d anticipated, [the doctoral candidate] was depressed. ‘I’d put my heart into it, and it was like someone had just died,’ she recalls.
It might have helped [her] to know that such feelings are not only normal, but healthy, according to Professor Edward Bader, M.A., of the department of family and community medicine at the University of Toronto. ‘Any event has some letdown, because you’ve channeled your energy in that direction. Afterward, there has to be some recouping of emotions.’ It is not for nothing that this unfortunate young woman compares passing her doctoral defense to a funeral, since the ‘someone who just died’ of her analogy might well be the embodiment of the romantic illusions she was educated on. When you’ve looked forward to one event your whole life, how on earth are you supposed to be glad to see that moment pass? Studies show that ambitious young women are particularly vulnerable to depression following their defenses.”
Plus, when you finish your dissertation, you never get a trousseau.
So how did you feel when you finished? How did you mark the occasion? What do you tell your students when they ask, “How did it feel?”
