“I have great respect for the U.K. United Kingdom. Great respect. People call it Britain. They call it Great Britain. They used to call it England — different parts.” — the president of the United States of America, August 2, 2018.
The president’s stream-of-consciousness speaking style is certainly distinctive. I wondered what it might look like if I imagined the stream continued flowing on:
Of course, I come from New York. They used to call it New Amsterdam. Now they call it the Big Apple. People used to sell apples on the street during the Depression. I feel depressed some of the time. Thyme is an herb. In England they pronounce the ‘h’ in ‘herb’ like in Hogan’s Heroes. What the heck was up with that Bob Crane?
Crane. Crane’s Stationery. I’ve got a stationary bike in the White House and a lot of people are always telling me to ride it. But lemme tell you something. Whatever I’m doing is working well. It’s working pretty well.
“Bike” was the company that made jock straps. “Jock strap” — that’s a funny word.
But I am completely serious when I tell you that we’ve got America on the right track again. I’ve got a one-track mind. Make America Great Again. Make America Great. America.
Sometimes they call it “the United States.” Or “the States.” Frankly, I don’t care. Frankly, my dear … Clark Gable. Those were the days when a movie star was a movie star, am I right?
I’ve got to tell you, looking out and seeing all those red hats, you’re gonna think I’m kidding but it makes me think of a Shriners convention. Shriners. Shrine. Shrine. Shrine. Shrine. Shrine. Sometimes, when you say a word a lot of times, it starts to sound like it doesn’t mean anything. Shrine. Fez.
Look at them, writing it all down in their notebooks. Why bother if they’re just going to make up something? Fake news fake out out at home home of the brave Braveheart. That was actually a pretty good movie.
They talk about Russia, they talk about the Soviet Union, I call it Russia. They’re supposed to be the bad guys. Believe me, I have great respect for Putin. Pu-tin. Do they still make tin foil out of tin?
I gotta end by talking about someone Who means a lot to me. The Creator. The Maker. The Man Upstairs. The Lord on High. Whatever name you call Him, He’s a very high-energy, high-IQ Guy who makes it all possible.
God bless.
Red Skelton used to say that. I always thought his name was “Red Skeleton.”
