At Dartmouth College
That great font of knowledge
They’ll soon introduce
.
Though not a doctor, we all called him one,
A sign of respect for a man who had fun
Telling sing-songy stories that make parents groan
But that left us as children not feeling alone.
.
His real name was Geisel,
Theodor (with no “e”).
An incredibly generous
Author was he.
.
An alum from the class of nineteen twenty-five,
They say he gave more than any alive.
And for that they’ll remember him and his wife
(the woman with whom he spent most of his life).
.
The medical school will carry a plaque
(one you might see if you swallowed a tack
or got mauled by a bear
or a cat in a hat).
.
That plaque will name Audrey and her late husband, Ted,
As the pair who helped pay for your hospital bed
And the doctors, the X-rays, the pills, and the nurse.
You’ll go home all recovered and still have your purse.
.
—Don Troop
(With apologies to Dr. Seuss)