How to Ruin a Date With an Academic in 5 Words

Academic life can be lonely. Professors, postdocs, and doctoral students spend their lives holed up in libraries, labs, and lecture halls, becoming intimate with words and ideas that are liable to alienate them from other people, especially nonacademics.

That can make dating awkward. The latest evidence of this has coalesced around the Twitter hashtag #RuinADateWithAnAcademicInFiveWords. Over the past day or so, people have been contributing phrases they say would raise red flags.

Yes, but what’s the point #RuinADateWithAnAcademicInFiveWords

— Matthew Reznicek (@drreznicek) January 15, 2015

You should be on Jeopardy! #RuinADateWithAnAcademicInFiveWords

— Charlotte Conradsen (@MsConradsen) January 15, 2015

So? That’s just a theory. #RuinADateWithAnAcademicInFiveWords

— Beaker Ben (@Beaker_Ben) January 15, 2015

In hundreds of tweets, clear themes have emerged. Apparently, a sure way to kill the mood is to speak admiringly of astrology, Fox News, homeopathic medicine, The History Channel, or Malcolm Gladwell. Disavowals of coffee, evolution, and Oxford commas might not play well, either. And God help you if you suggest that academics get to “take summers off.”

You should try to relax. #RuinADateWithAnAcademicInFiveWords

— Joseph M. Gabriel (@jmgabriel72) January 15, 2015

I LOVE the history channel #RuinADateWithAnAcademicInFiveWords

— Gautham Rao (@gauthamrao) January 15, 2015

You’re entitled to your opinion. #RuinADateWithAnAcademicinFiveWords

— corey robin (@CoreyRobin) January 15, 2015

Not surprisingly, ignorance and philistinism aren’t sexy. But some of the most distressing utterances can come from fellow academics.

I applied for the same funding #RuinADateWithAnAcademicInFiveWords

— Cafer T. Yavuz (@caferyavuz) January 15, 2015

[yourdiscipline] is really just [mydiscipline] #RuinADateWithAnAcademicInFiveWords

— Laura Howes (@L_Howes) January 15, 2015

I was your reviewer B. #RuinADateWithAnAcademicInFiveWords

— blue_and_black (@blue_and_black1) January 15, 2015

Since the game went viral, a competing hashtag has also emerged: #AceADateWithAnAcademicInFiveWords. It is much less popular. There is at least one phrase, however, that has been submitted under both hashtags:

Let’s not talk about research. #AceADateWithAnAcademicInFiveWords or #RuinADateWithAnAcademicInFiveWords?

— Grad Student (@ImAGradStudent) January 15, 2015