Pardon me. Professors of America? Hi there. Could I borrow a few minutes of your time? I hate to intrude, but it’s become necessary. Remember your department support staff? Those 9-to-5 folks who help you with 100 little details every day? Well, we all came together last weekend and made a decision. It’s been long enough. Something has to be said. And since I was late to the meeting and they needed a spokesman ... well, you know how that goes.
Here’s the thing: Many professors have been on the job for a long while now. One would assume that, over time, they would have absorbed certain tricks of the trade, like sponges soaking up water. But we’ve noticed a few problems. Don’t get me wrong; most of you are fantastic at teaching and research. Obviously, those duties are your top priority. But when it comes to more mundane interactions with the people around you in the ivory office, we think you need a few tips. After all, having a better relationship with us means we can make one another’s lives easier.
Let’s take me, for example. I’ve worked as a staff member in different departments for several years, and I’ve watched how professors use—and misuse—their staff. Of course we all gossip about you behind your backs. But only because, deep down, we really do care about you. So here are five secrets that your staff wish you knew. Understanding these will improve your relationship with us and let you reap the benefits. Read them. Please.
We’re not just secretaries anymore. I literally cringe when I hear a professor refer to me, or another staff member, as a “secretary.” The word conjures up old movie stereotypes of a shapely blonde who spent her days filing her nails, answering the phone, and doing little else. In the 21st century, very few staff members are just secretaries.
Most department staff members I know have bachelor’s degrees, especially the young ones, and especially in today’s economy. Some of us even have master’s degrees. Administrators seem to realize that and rely on us to do much more sophisticated work than just answering the phones.
But some of you faculty members have missed the memo. A few professors I’ve worked with still use the term “secretary” and treat their staff accordingly. Here’s our advice: If you treat your staff members as mere secretaries, they’ll probably act like mere secretaries. You won’t get much constructive work out of them. But if you treat them like professionals, you might be surprised at how helpful they become. For those professors who have asked for my help, I’ve done everything from planning budgets for their grant proposals to giving editorial advice on their next journal articles.
We have deadlines of our own. You all know the scenario. Your plane leaves for the conference in three hours and you can’t find your presentation. Then a student stops by to chat about why he just bombed the midterm. Stressed and in a hurry, you call in a staff member and demand she help you look. And you need her to do that right now.
Staff members know that we work for you—and not the other way around. We want to help. But you’ll go a long way toward getting our help—and our respect—if you recognize that we have deadlines of our own.
Your staff often work for a dozen or more faculty members and a chair or dean. You may not be our only boss in a hurry. Simply acknowledging that fact when you ask for our immediate help can earn our trust.
We can lead the way on technology. Professors greet new technology like they do a new committee assignment: Some jump for joy and say “I’ve always wanted to do that,” and some shake their fist and shout “over my dead body!” For those in the second category, your staff members can help.
Most of the youngish staff members I know are much more tech savvy than the professors they work for. You’re not all technophobes, of course. But the caffeine-powered, iPad-and-Twitter-in-the-classroom academic is the exception. Never fear. Your staff will know the cool tools and time-saving technologies you can use. We go to all the training sessions and we use our computers at least eight hours a day. So just ask us. Don’t be embarrassed. Remember this advice the next time you despair because your PowerPoint won’t open.
We don’t always think in the abstract. The education critic Sir Ken Robinson said that professors spend their time in their heads and see their bodies only as transportation for their brains. He was talking about the abstract nature in which academics often live and communicate. Off-in-the-clouds thinking can be great. Abstraction is perfect for teaching managerial economics or debating St. Augustine’s The City of God. But it’s not so great for tracking conference expenses or communicating with your staff.
Here’s our advice: We tend to focus on day-to-day details, not concepts. Most of us are more comfortable in the solid objects of the world around us and can’t always follow you into the clouds. If you have communication barriers with your staff, try talking in concrete terms. Focus on the details. When you see understanding in our eyes, instead of confusion, you’ll know the approach is working.
We’re people, too. I have another confession to make. We staff members often swap stories about “the condescending professor.” It’s a tale told in every department at every college, down through the generations like an African oral tradition. Every office has one. I’ve been in a meeting with other staff people when a professor walked in and hijacked the conversation without so much as a “pardon me.” I’ve also overheard a professor sniping—in a mixed company of faculty and staff members—"Who does he think he is? He’s only staff.”
The professorial supremacy complex inflicts far too many in your ranks. We are people, too. We have feelings, egos, and ambitions just as you do. “Treat people as you wish to be treated” is the world’s most popular maxim for a reason. Take the time to stop and chat with us. Remember our kids’ names. Treat us like human beings. It’s not only humane; it will earn our respect and loyalty.
So there they are, faculty of America. The five big secrets. You are now armed with the tools to build better relationships with your staff members. Using us will make your life easier. Forgetting your manners will force us to take drastic measures, like draining your printers of ink and then pretending we don’t know how to order new cartridges. You don’t want that. Trust me.